The Career Lounge: Executive Career and Transformational Coaching by Nerice Gietel

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3 Steps To Return To Work After Having Children

As a career coach who works with clients going through life and career transitions, I know that getting back to work after having children isn’t always easy. This is a summary of an article that appeared in Sassy Mama Hong Kong about getting back to work after having kids. It has since been updated/edited.

Do any of the following apply to you?

  1. You had a successful and fulfilling job that you quit to raise your children.

  2. You planned to take a short break after having your kid(s) but the sabbatical ended up derailing your career.

  3. You were recently laid off for reasons beyond your control.


    Whatever the reason is, I know that going back to work after a break has its challenges. When this is coupled with a new experience as a parent, it can feel doubly difficult.

    Don’t be disheartened, Unless you are completely destitute, the career break post kids can also offer you a great opportunity to take stock of your life and make more informed decisions about what to do next. Here are three steps to get you started on your back-to-work journey.

  1. Do some soul-searching before returning to work

It’s probably tempting to touch up your most recent CV and start applying for jobs straight away. If you are lucky, you may find one quickly, but that’s rarely the case.

Going by the experiences of many of my clients, I believe that it could take anything from two months to two years. For this reason, it is important to do some serious introspection – know what you have in your armoury before you launch yourself into the job-hunting battlefield.

One way to think about this is to imagine that you are an iceberg floating in the Antarctic. The top of the iceberg is your behaviour that is visible to the outside world. In a job-hunting scenario, this may include updating your CV and reaching out to recruitment agencies. What shapes your actions is your attitude, beliefs and values that lie below the surface. Without knowing that, you may never understand why you keep bumping into the same obstacles over and over again. In other words, why your search is unsuccessful.

Some questions to answer before you start applying for work:

  • What is your motivation to find a job or start a new career now?

  • What are the top three things that your new job must offer you?

  • On the flip side, what are three things that you are willing to compromise on?

  • Can you bring something to bring to your workplace that others may not?

  • What sort of environment do you want to work in and why?

  • What abilities, skills and experience do you want to deploy in your new role?

  • To what extent are you competent in doing what you want to do?

  • Do you have demonstrable experience doing what you say you want to do? (If not, what do you need to do to gain that experience?)

Once you are clearer on these points, it’ll be easier to tailor your resume accordingly and make your search much more targeted.

2. Set your back to work goals

Answering the above questions will enable you to narrow your search and make quality applications for jobs that match your criteria. The answers may also help you to adjust your goals if you discover through your search that what you are looking for in a job is simply not available in the specific role, industry or sector that you want to work in. For example, you may want flexibility, training and development, and you like the idea of working for a startup. Whilst you may find a startup that offers you flexibility with plenty of on-the-job learning opportunities, they often have tight budgets which may mean that attending external training is unlikely.

3. Take action, but be kind to yourself

Once you have a clear idea of what you are looking for, you need to go ahead and do it. But, remember you will probably have to “do it” again and again and again. Avoid job-hunting burnout by practising self-care. Eating well, getting enough sleep, exercising, having fun and spending time with people who make you feel good about yourself are not luxuries that only working people can afford to indulge in. Doing these things is necessary. Whether you intend it or not, how you feel about yourself is likely to be projected in your interactions with prospective employers (or people in your network who can refer you to them). Being in a negative frame of mind can be misinterpreted as being disinterested or incompetent.

When you are looking for work, your confidence can really take a knock. Rejection letters or complete silence to your applications can mean many different things, but it is hard to simply brush off. Acknowledge your disappointment, but don’t let it consume too much of your energy. Instead, consider alternative ways of further researching the job market and getting feedback about your applications. Get advice from a friend working in the sector you are interested in or seek professional support from a career coach or consultant.

Other points in your action plan

  • Even if your only reason for going back to work is that you are craving human contact, consider upskilling. Besides the practical use, acquiring a new skill can enhance your job-hunting confidence. Look up courses available online on Coursera, Udemy and Udacity to find something suitable for your profession.

  • On the other hand, it is important to realise that going back to work may include coming to terms with downskilling. Your new job description could very well include doing things previously done by your assistants.

  • Convince the world through personal branding and marketing that you are the right person for the job. While doing soul-searching, work on formulating an elevator pitch or personal statement that is uniquely yours.

  • Finally, activating your network is another essential part of your action plan. Do not underestimate the power of your connections, close or not so. Often, it’s unlikely acquaintances who can help you reach new networks that you do not already have access to, which in turn can present you with new opportunities.

Originally posted on Sassy Mama Hong Kong, on 12 July, 2019